Confidence is an attitude you want your kids to embrace. With a strong belief in themselves, they’re more likely to reach their goals and overcome the challenges they would face. But of course, confidence isn’t built overnight. In fact, it’s supposed to be instilled every day.
What’s the best way to do it? Use the power of words. Here are some of the phrases to tell your children every day to inspire confidence in them.
“You can do it.”
As your kids hit school age and interact more with peers, they become deeply aware of their own limitations and other children’s strengths. They compare themselves to classmates. They develop a strong sense of competition. In some instances, this results in negative self-talk.
That’s why cliché as it may be, you have to flip their mindset around and tell them they can do whatever it is they want to do. But don’t stop there. Make a case for why they can. For example, they may not have the experience of being in a baseball team, but they’ve always had the fastest reflexes when playing catch with their dad.
Or, it’s probably their first time to join a school band, but they’ve had plenty of musical experience with their weekend routine of violin lessons in Lehi. Child psychologists explain that giving them this detailed pep talk can greatly help in boosting their self-esteem.
“That was great.”
Another version of this is, “that was brave,” or “the music you played was beautiful.” Sometimes, the reason children can’t embrace their talents and skills is there’s not enough recognition of it.
Without much appreciation, they begin to think that exercising their talent is just one of those ordinary things. So when they try something new in the future, they don’t have that history of milestones or achievements to refer to, which would convince them that they could.
That said, acknowledge the efforts of your children. When they try out for the sports team or plays the violin at a school event, be specific in your compliments. Say, “it was brave of you to come up to the stage and play even though you said you were nervous.”
With more of these words of encouragement as they experience new things, they get to store a memory bank of achievements that they can revisit whenever they need confidence.
“Let’s try it again?”
Of course, you don’t always win in life. Your kids will experience failures, for sure. But take note that it’s in these times that the lesson of confidence becomes even more crucial. It’s easy to be confident when you’re high up there, but when you’re on the down low? It’s not just difficult, but it also seems impossible.
How can you inspire confidence in failures? Let your children try again. The mere act of rising up from the fall commands trust in their capability. The sheer attitude of refusing to be set back by challenges radiates confidence. So, let them try again for the baseball team after not making it. Encourage them to get back on the stage after a performance they regret. Help them get back on their feet.
Use the power of words in increasing your children’s confidence. Inspire them to take risks. Acknowledge their efforts. Comfort them when they fail. All these can make your kids have faith in themselves.